What's the skinny on skinny jeans?!

The ravings of a very cheeky fashionista

There she is with what most people would call “thunder thighs” she takes a step, the ground shakes, and her body fat ripples. You can tell she’s got a weave, no chance in heck a black girls’ natural kinky locks could be that long. She’s tryna pass her waddle off as some kind of catwalk. The men are gazing in awe, and the icing on the cake.... baby (elephant) is wearing skinny jeans.
HOW DID SHE GET ALL THAT BA-DONK-a-DONK IN THOSE JEANS? , and there we have it ladies and gentlemen, the 8th wonder of the world!
Please this is absolutely NOT malice based but let’s try to be real , there is a very good reason they’re called “SKINNY JEANS”, I could be wrong but maybe it’s because ,oh, I don’t know , THEY ARE MEANT FOR SKINNY PEOPLE?

In my humble opinion, every person is somewhat fashionable, and to be honest even I don’t get what the perfect way to wear the many variations of the skinny jeans is. Heck!, since we are being “all honest” I might as well tell you I don’t have any idea what the difference between drainpipes, denim leggings, cigarettes and plain ol’ skinny jeans are, it’s enough to do your head in! I mean HONESTLY! Who even comes up with this stuff? I’m sure some rich chick is sitting in her penthouse in upper eastside Manhattan thinking “I am going to single-handedly create one pair of skinnies, in different colours n accessories and call them different names so the not-so-fashionable run mad! Mwuah ha ha ha (evil laugh)!”

Geez, give us a break!

Even the ladies in the glossy magazines (vogue, bazaar, elle, cosmopolitan etc) know better than to try to differentiate between them. Best case scenario they just call them by the name the designer tagged them knowing better than to try.
Ladies, all I’m saying is let’s work with what our mama’s gave us! We are all uniquely beautiful! Surely we don’t need to follow trends... Let’s SET them!!