What's the skinny on skinny jeans?!

The ravings of a very cheeky fashionista

There she is with what most people would call “thunder thighs” she takes a step, the ground shakes, and her body fat ripples. You can tell she’s got a weave, no chance in heck a black girls’ natural kinky locks could be that long. She’s tryna pass her waddle off as some kind of catwalk. The men are gazing in awe, and the icing on the cake.... baby (elephant) is wearing skinny jeans.
HOW DID SHE GET ALL THAT BA-DONK-a-DONK IN THOSE JEANS? , and there we have it ladies and gentlemen, the 8th wonder of the world!
Please this is absolutely NOT malice based but let’s try to be real , there is a very good reason they’re called “SKINNY JEANS”, I could be wrong but maybe it’s because ,oh, I don’t know , THEY ARE MEANT FOR SKINNY PEOPLE?

In my humble opinion, every person is somewhat fashionable, and to be honest even I don’t get what the perfect way to wear the many variations of the skinny jeans is. Heck!, since we are being “all honest” I might as well tell you I don’t have any idea what the difference between drainpipes, denim leggings, cigarettes and plain ol’ skinny jeans are, it’s enough to do your head in! I mean HONESTLY! Who even comes up with this stuff? I’m sure some rich chick is sitting in her penthouse in upper eastside Manhattan thinking “I am going to single-handedly create one pair of skinnies, in different colours n accessories and call them different names so the not-so-fashionable run mad! Mwuah ha ha ha (evil laugh)!”

Geez, give us a break!

Even the ladies in the glossy magazines (vogue, bazaar, elle, cosmopolitan etc) know better than to try to differentiate between them. Best case scenario they just call them by the name the designer tagged them knowing better than to try.
Ladies, all I’m saying is let’s work with what our mama’s gave us! We are all uniquely beautiful! Surely we don’t need to follow trends... Let’s SET them!!

If Nigerians...

I am proud to be African, and more importantly, Nigerian. I derive great pleasure in observing our diverse culture, and generally the way we live life... most times it's like having an outer body experience, other times it's just hilarious. I'm watching TV and can't help imagining what it'd be like if Nigerians were

ON Fear Factor: Oga Joe, no vex o, you say make i chop kini? You, you chop winch?

ON Oprah:
Oprah: Today we're talking about the trouble in Burma/Myanmar and...yes member of the audience?
Nigerian Lady: Madam, you no go give us present today? I don tell everybody for Area say i dey come dis side them say make i bring somtin come.

ON The Look for Less: Nne, bring that money make i sure say e complete first.

IN the Barak-Hilary debates: Podium kewnu!!!!!

ON American Idol/ X-Factor: Simon, na your mama sound like frog! You hear me?! Your M-A-M-A!!!!! (followed by the breaking of the closest bottle)!

ON Cops: Omo, na police, run!!! ye! yeee o!! Officer, i say no be me steal that moto wey u find the key for inside my house, no me be se!

What's beef?

" I wanna make luv in this club" ... Usher sings out of what seems to be a million speakers scattered around the dance floor, people start going wild busting out their baddest moves , then the music seems to fade, guys n girls stop throwing the random punch that is dance, and there she is... This chic in the micro-est mini I ever did see, with a top so tight I could swear I saw her heart beating.. And a single sentence from some tiny voice(fair to assume is female) "who invited the slut?! "

To borrow a phrase from the late, great Notorious B.I.G "What's Beef?"

Wait, what's that i hear like blatant denial?Ladies, act like you know! We're always hating on each other, even though we might have never met... IT'S CRAZY!!! Woman on Woman crime is at an all time high, women divers are less courteous and patient to thier counter-parts, walk into a shop and a female attendant will be less helpful if you are of the same gender. Again, i reiterate, IT'S CRAZY!!!!

Here's what some people had to say when i threw it out there:
I believe you have an acceptable answer to your question tucked away in your brain somewhere. However, the strongest contributor to this behavior is feelings of competition. Zeb(Male 27)

They don't, overall. Please don't over generalise. Women are not more likely to be petty to one another than men are.
Why "people" act petty can change depending on the situation, i.e. they might be petty only towards certain people they don't care about, because they dislike that person, because they are insecure, because it makes them feel more powerful to treat people this way, because they have benefited from this behavoir in the past, etc.
J(Female, 34)

Girls, we're all on the same team so to borrow yet another phrase, from one of the greatest men of all time "why can't we all just get along?"

(poll culled from yahoo! answers)

The birds and the bees....

So, hands up if you remember your first ever talk about "The birds and the bees"....?!
Well if you have, then kudos for sitting through three hours of gruelling non-graphic, dad/mom-not wanting-to hit-the -punchline-while-trying-really-hard to-make-the-point pep talk! It couldn't have been easy, i know, for I too have been a victim of "The Talk"! Now, if you're lucky you would've by some form of miraculous favour, dodged the fatal bullet that is "The Talk". But I, perfect child that i then was, was accursed to have sat through it twice...once when i turned thirteen and again when i gained admission to university, you'd think it gets easier to listen to with time.THINK AGAIN.

Truth is, most of us already knew so much about the birds and the bees before dad/mom debated on who'd be better suited to go in, sometimes unable to conclude, they both knock on the door ,walk in, sit on the bed, ask you to sit between them, make a little idle talk like: when did you get all grown and so beautiful/handsome, etcetera, then just before the walls start closing in, the air becomes thin and they tell you how babies are made... yeah. Anyways because the parents are trying extra hard not to be too direct the message is either never passed or comprehended, most times they stop, not knowing how to progress.


To be fair, they really are giving a hundred percent, they just aren't very good at it, amidst the long pauses, inapprporiate examples,and impossible parables, we cut them some slack and say "I get it" ( no small thanks to the TV, internet, magazines etc).The look of relief on their faces is and always will be one for the history books.

It might be the most dreaded thing after the plague, but the talk is kind of like world tradition...

Perspective through pictures

A typical look at a market in Plateau State capital, Jos. Jos is well known in Nigeria for its beautiful scenery, cool climate and abundant organic fruit and vegetables. Standard of living in Jos is considerably low, this maybe attributed to the fact that indigenes either work for the State government or are farmers.

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